• Confident Parenting

The High Maintenance Child, Part 3

Updated: Oct 24, 2020

Parenting a high-maintenance child is not for the faint of heart.

It requires tremendous energy, patience, and commitment to a long term plan for your child’s success. You have to learn to hang in and hang on.

In our work with parents supporting their high-maintenance child on a long-term basis, part of the plan we develop with them includes creating a self-care plan aimed at mom and dad.

Parents are in for the long haul in dealing with their high-maintenance child, and each needs to look after him/herself as an individual, and themselves as a parenting partnership.

You will spend the rest of your life devoted to your high-maintenance child. However, in order to give yourself as completely as you wish, you need to take care of yourself and of each other. It may just be a five minute cup of coffee, a night out, or it might be a weekend away, but unless you make such times available, you face burnout-physical and mental exhaustion, and that helps no-one.

Ask for help. Your family and friends are not mind readers. They understand that you have a child that requires extra support, but unless you tell them exactly what they may do to help, they can’t do anything for you. Use them!

Don’t forget your other kids. They also need your love, attention, and support. A high-maintenance child impacts all members of the family, and finding those opportunities to support your other children is very important.

Finding a support group that speaks your language and understands your issues is important. Remember that you are not the only family dealing with high-maintenance children, and while the specifics may be different with each, the emotional impact is not.

Life is harder for high-maintenance children and their parents. Evenly-tempered children are a joy for their families; but there is much joy to be had for the parents of the high-maintenance child, as well. They are just a lot more work!

If you wish to know more about developing a parent plan to support your high maintenance child, contact us at

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